Um, exactly how do we do this? Establishing a relationship with a birth mother.

To continue on with the story…the birth mother we are working with moved very close to us within a week or two of us being “matched”. Like within ten minutes of us!

We had a great opportunity to set up the house that she would be living in. We tried to make it homey by adding pictures to the wall and flower arrangements. It was an exhausting two days of work. Thankfully, several friends helped out by cleaning and helping us with donations of furniture and furnishings. It all came together just in time by God’s grace!

Within a few days of moving near us we met her one late morning and took her and her two small children out to lunch. Can I saw awkward? The Lord has truly given us a situation that is beyond my comfort zone. In my perfect mess free adoption world we would have been called about a baby that needed a home and, will you please pick him/her up from the hospital? Yes, please!

In my thirty (plus) years of life I have definitely learned that God takes us out of our comfort levels and gently stretches us so that we might grow to be more like Him. This is the goal of life, right? To live to glorify Him. To know He leaves us here (instead of taking us straight to heaven at salvation) to be a testimony of His Grace to others.

She happens to be quiet and reserved (a lot like me) and so I am constantly relying on God’s strength to get this relationship established. This is most definitely the oddest relationship of my entire life.


I am meeting you and trying to get to know you.

You will be birthing a baby that you feel you cannot adequately care for; you loved enough to give life and to give away…

I will be caring and nurturing for said child for the rest of my life (I hope!)

This is an incredible bond that no one else can comprehend, even me at this point!

Can someone tell me how do we do this????

I am trying to be a bit candid here, but if you happen to have walked this path before and can give some insight. I would love, love to read your comments! Of course, prayer is always welcome!




  1. Addy
    Aug 1, 2011

    I wish this process were easier for you. I am hurting for you as I see the situation. Yet, I know that God brings adversity for our growth, and so I thank God for this trial and pray for much strength and grace for you and J and the kiddos. And I pray for her, too, as I would not want to be in her shoes. Hugs to you!

  2. Kelley
    Aug 3, 2011

    Sorry. No advice to give. We’ve never made it this far into the process. But what I have I give: My prayers and my cheers. You’re on my heart a lot right now!

  3. Debi
    Aug 7, 2011

    Praying for you and her through this. Not an easy place for either side. Three basics, prayer, unconditional love and time.
    My sister walked a similar path, adopting 2 of her nieces and the birth mom (involved in Drugs) moved to be close to them..
    I will give her your BLOG info to see if she has advice to offer you. Their situation is somewhat different in that the birth mom is her husband’s sister so she was well known before.

    • H
      Aug 18, 2011

      Thanks! That would be great! We really appreciate your prayers as well.

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