Many thanks for the notes on our blog from all of you dear readers! We have enjoyed all the congratulations. It is amazing how you can fall in love with two little ones without ever seeing them in person. We just have one photo of each and we are just amazed every time we look at them. We did not realize exactly how hard this part of the wait was going to be! Now that we have a face to look at the ache goes soooo deep. We have to wait so long for our family to be all together. I just keep trying to remember that each day that passes is one day closer and that the Lord has them there for this time for some reason.
This afternoon we filled out our papers saying "YES! We want them!" and Jacob went out to mail them with a large sum of money. We had to send all their medical information to an international adoption clinic to be reviewed by a doctor. That doctor will also be able to look at all the pictures we will get from the Transition Home in Ethiopia and any other information we get on them. When we bring them home we'll have another excuse to go to Charleston (beach) and the doctor will examine them. We are glad to have access to a doctor familiar with international adoptions.
There were two other families who received referrals last week. The week held heartbreaking news for another family. Please pray for the Joner family. Their baby girl who was referred to them about a month or so ago passed away from pneumonia. I can't imagine the deep sadness they are feeling as they have lost their little girl. Even though they were not able to see their little girl in person yet, they still are dealing with all that goes into the loss of a baby. Please pray for our little ones that they'll be safe from sickness as we look forward to the months ahead of us before we can see them!
This morning our son, Caleb, painted. He happened to make a painting with the Ethiopian flag colors!

Today our prayers were answered in a mighty way! I was sitting on our porch watching my son and a friend's son when the phone rang. I was so surprised to see the "703" area code and drew a mind blank. I think this is it! Or is it something else? I started to rise out of my seat as I answered and the friendly voice on the other end said this was my happy day!
I ran into our bedroom/Jacob's office and put the phone on speaker. At first he didn't know what was going on. But then he realized that we were getting our referral call! She (friendly voice) said that the agency has a sibling group for us. A two and a half year old boy and his BABY sister! As soon as she said we had a baby girl (2 and a half months) we both began to weep. I kept saying "this is a miracle" over and over! We had been praying in our hearts for a baby girl, but we had never officially asked for one at the agency. We just knew God would give us the children He had for our family. How wonderful He gave us our heart's desire!
We have been on the phone for hours telling our family and friends. Each time we look at their photo we are amazed. It is really hard to fathom these two children will be ours! Our minds can't wrap around that fact...and it will probably won't be "real" until we hold them in our arms!
When we are able to share more about them (after court) we have a cool story about our little boy's name. We will not be able to share photos or details until they become ours officially. This will not happen until after October for sure. The courts are closed until October 7th and then there will be a back log.
We are just praising the Lord, our hearts are so full!

Yesterday my sister-in-law, Addy, asked my niece, who is four, if she knew what adoption is. Leah answered, "Yes. It means that someone else is going to have a baby and then mail it to Aunt Hilary."
I thought that was cute.
This past weekend we bought our five year anniversary gift at an estate tag sale. I have been wanting a record player for some time. When I grew up we would listen to records and so I was very excited when we found one for our home! I love listening to them, there is nothing like a record.

I also bought an apron that the lady of the house had made long ago. It is great fun to think of how some other woman, a generation beyond me, took the time to stitch the apron and then wore it around her kitchen. I wonder what kind of lady she was? Did she entertain a lot? She clearly was resourceful enough to make things by hand.

Meanwhile, I have found a research project that has been consuming my time. I haven't had much time to dwell on our expected referral call, which could come any time now. I don't jump at the phone ringing, wondering if it is the 703 area code that is calling. In fact, most of the time I don't know where my cell phone is! Don't get me wrong, I am quite excited that our referral could come any day now, and I am hoping and praying it will be this month even.
No, my research has centered around home schooling my four year old to be. I have been reading a book called The Well Trained Mind which is about classical education. Classical education is based on the trivium which covers grammar, logic and rhetoric.
I am very drawn to this style of teaching, he would read lots and lots of classical literature, of course not leaving out modern. Art would have an important place in our home as well. He would learn latin, which I never learned, but I understand can help you greatly throughout life. He would have a lot of grammar, which is often lacking in schools today.
Just in this last week I have learned a lot! I am glad I started a year early researching! I would like to maybe start phonics and a little math in the upcoming months. But for this year it will not be a set schedule. He is only going to be four and I don't want him to start school already!
I will leave off with some pictures of a little "fort" Daddy and Caleb worked on this past weekend.

Yesterday we had a conference call with our agency. I learned that they are working on another partnership with a new orphanage which is exciting of course. And that they are not expecting the amount of referrals given during court closure to diminish. As you may remember, the courts are closing on Friday for two months (or 60 days). It will re-open on my 31st birthday or soon after!

Unfortunately, I felt very discouraged after the call, although I am not sure it was the actual call that caused the wave of discouragement. I was flooded with the realization that the possibility of a sibling group 0-24months is so UNLIKELY. I think our adversary, the Devil, was having a great moment of defeating me. I haven't been feeling well this week, have had a cold, and so emotionally tears have been brimming just below the surface. Thankfully, my dear husband prayed with me and asked that the Lord might encourage me in this wait.

Tomorrow will be eight months of waiting. Folks...you could say we are eight months pregnant...and the anticipation of seeing the faces of our children somedays is just so powerful. Yet, in the world of adoption there is no due date and so we must keep up hope that the Lord has not forgotten us! A blind hope. Not unlike our hope of seeing our Lord's face someday. We anticipate something that we have not an actual day marked on a calendar. But yet are so confident will come!

So today I went out grocery shopping and I was leaving the self check-out line, wheeling the cart around and I notice a woman standing in my path. She catches my attention and says, "I just want to encourage you to keep close to the Lord and to keep loving Him." I was quite astonished at this and managed a "thank-you" and kept walking out the door. Tears once again threatened to escape. I couldn't believe it. Who was this woman and why did she single me out to say this to? What does she know of me and even more...how would she know if I even believed in the Lord? But I realized that doesn't matter. Don't try to analyze the situation. Take it for what it is. Direct encouragement from my Lord. Don't give up believing. Don't give up having faith that He is there and knows our children and where they are right now. More importantly, don't let my discouragement keep me from loving my Lord and from talking to Him.

It may not mean much and I wish I could have let that woman know how she encouraged me today. I am thankful that God does let us know He is there, caring for us!

Live with me and be my Love, and we will all the pleasures prove. (Shakespeare) Today (August 2nd) is our five year wedding anniversary. It is so hard to believe that five years could have come and gone already! It seems like a blink of the eye since we stood at the front of the little old church in Maine giving our vows to each other. I remember being so nervous because we had written our own vows and memorized them. Those who know me well realize I do not memorize things well! It was my biggest fear that I would forget them. Thankfully we each were able to confidently deliver them and so far the Lord has graciously kept us and we trust He will continue to do so for many, many, many years.
The month of July proved to be extremely busy! I had the unexpected two week trip to Pennsylvania and then Jacob's family visited followed by my dear friend, Ruth, who came up from Florida. We had a wonderful time with her, she is sure to make you laugh and the friendship is a bond that isn't stressed by distance or years of not seeing one another. A true friend!
We have not had much time to think about the referral call we received and for that I am grateful. I do not want to dwell on the sadness of saying no. Many people have commented and encouraged us! Those words are balm to the soul. I likely will never know why we had to do what we had to do and I am fine with that. Instead I look ever more ahead of us and anticipate the Lord's direction each step of the way. I admit there are days when sadness creeps in and I am frustrated by the seemingly never-ending wait. Thankfully those days are few and far between.

The months of June and July each had 10 referrals. This is a goal our agency wanted to reach. I am happy they have gotten their goal. I pray it will continue to move along. I anticipate it slowing as the courts will close in just seven days for two months. However AWAA does not estimate that referrals will slow down much. We have another conference call with our family coordinator on Tuesday. We always learn much from them as it is the only contact we have with them.
Some families who got referrals in July are the Caldwells (a baby boy), the Laughners (a boy) (As a side note, our dossiers went to Ethiopia together!). The Britton family (baby boy), the Hammonds (baby boy) and the Joners (baby girl). We heartily offer Congratulations!

I am hesitant to type this post. As I sit here my palms are breaking out in a sweat and my stomach is doing flip-flops. But it is NEWS I suppose in our adoption, even thought not the type of news I wish to share.
Yesterday we said no. There it is. One sentence captures the essence of the story.
I (Hilary) have been gone for about two weeks on an unplanned trip to see my dear Grandmother I posted about a few posts ago. She took a turn for the worse, but I am happy to report she is doing much better. I did not want to have any regrets so I packed up my bags and my son and took off on a trip north. Never had I traveled so far, alone. Thank goodness for GPS! :)
On my way home, my in-laws traveled down south with me. I had some company with me in the form of my dear mother-in-law. Just as we were driving down 81 through some mountains I got a call on my cell phone. I picked it up and saw the 703 area code and thought, "oh dear! I think this is it!" The call we have been waiting seven months for! I answered and the woman on the other end told me she had a potential referral for us. I didn't know what to think! Here I am driving down the highway somewhere in Virginia with Bonnie at my side! But then she said, I have a single child that we would like to send you information on. As SOON as she said that my stomach/heart sunk and I had an immediate feeling that this was not right. I was very calm and I am sure hesitant to know what to say. I think she was surprised at my quiet, hesitant reaction. I told her I was traveling and would like to call my husband. I even asked her not to send the referral to us in an email until I had spoken with Jacob.
As I got off the phone I told Bonnie this was it...the call! She was so surprised and even unsure of what to think as she was now mixed into a personal issue between my husband and I! So I called Jacob and he too had the same initial reaction. We talked about weather we should get the email and look at the pictures and then decide.
I now realize God's hands were upon us in this crazy situation. Both of us felt beyond a shadow of a doubt that we should wait...and say no. We didn't need to see any photos to decide. We did pray about it and then Jacob called AWAA back to say that we just didn't feel right about this.
Within half an hour it was all over. I felt really, really odd. How could we say no to a child? This was it! The call we had been anticipating, hoping and praying for! And then to be flooded with the knowledge that for some reason God was nudging our hearts to say no.
I hesitate to tell our story. But I feel it is a clear evidence of God's hand in this whole adoption process. Perhaps all the trauma we had a year or two ago when we had three domestic adoptions fall apart prepared us for this phone call. I can have a peace about it all. I trust that God will bring our children to us in his timing! And I know that if she had called to say she had the perfect referral that somewhere in Virginia I would have flown off the side of the mountain!

I made this today to make the task of hanging up laundry just a little more enjoyable. I have been meaning to do this for months and finally did it while Caleb was sleeping this afternoon. I just took my old, boring, ugly bag and made a new one that is fun! It has given me a new idea for the Etsy shop...I think I'll try to make some. I definitely will improve the design of the bag a little bit, but who knows! Maybe there are other folk in the market for a clothespin bag!

It finally happened. He cut his hair. The result? A new haircut that makes him look more like Daddy!

I finally finished making my apron. It took a while as I was not in the sewing frame of mind for the last several weeks. I think I spent so much time sewing for each of the Hilary's Hope shows that I didn't want to sit down to the machine for a bit. But I am glad to finish the apron and it is reversible! It is pretty neat, found the pattern at this link. They have some other really neat patterns available as well.

I am working on photographing (or Jacob is) my remaining bags so I can post them on an Etsy site. Jacob signed me up for one, I hope it will be a good way to sell some things on the side. It seems presentation is quite important in the Etsy world, so I am glad Jacob is a decent photographer. We've really been blessed with how we've been able to raise some money for our adoption through Hilary's Hope.
Jacob spoke with our family coordinator this week about some financial things. Since Jacob is self-employed we do our taxes differently than other folk. I had some nightmares that we had finally made it to the top of the list, only to have to drop out! But our coordinator was very reassuring and helpful. During those days of not knowing what was going to happen I kept reading the Psalms. David always talks about waiting quietly on the Lord. My question I kept asking myself was, "how does one wait quietly on the Lord?" Each day that passed without hearing from our coordinator was about to drive me crazy...I kept telling myself to wait...and to have a quiet spirit too. Easy to type, hard to do!
He did tell her that we are prepared to continue waiting and that for the time we probably would not like to have a single child referral. We will see what the future holds! I am so grateful the Lord sees our children and knows where they are!
The Gibson family is off to Dubi and then Ethiopia to pick up their babe Zoie. There will be some other families traveling in the near future as well! I will post their links when they leave. I think the Gibson's will do a great job of posting, so enjoy!

While we were in New York I finally called our family coordinator to get an update on our adoption. I knew we were nearing the top ten or so but I wasn't sure what to expect as we were getting closer. I kind of wondered if we would hear more often from our agency and I just wanted to hear from her what she thought about our request for two children at such a young age. I was excited to hear that we are currently #1 for siblings!!!!!!!! It has taken 6 months to get to this spot. But that means we NEED PRAYERS!!! We are asking for 2 children under the age of 2. This is extremely, extremely, extremely RARE. Our agency has never seen twins or a sibling group of that age. Please pray with us that the Lord will work a miracle and bring the right children to our family.

Our coordinator said that it is likely they will refer to us a single child because she just hasn't seen two young children yet. In that case we'll have to pray about it and if we still feel the Lord directing us to adopt 2, we'll have to say No to that referral. We'll still stay #1 for twins/siblings 0-2 but we could wait....for however long! :)  I know beyond a shadow of a doubt if the Lord has two children for us He'll bring them in....the thought of having to say "no" to a referral is just heart breaking. Jacob and I are praying the Lord will give us a referral we have a peace about the first time around.

Even if we DID get our miracle referral, we would actually still have to wait 4+ months to have our court date and travel to get them. Things in Ethiopia have been really slow due to drought and other things. Power in the country has been rationed and that means communication is shut down, papers don't get to courts, referrals and medical information can't get out as quickly, etc. PLUS, the courts have recess from Aug 7-Oct 7th (roughly) and so nothing can happen during that time. So that is a something that would/will be hard to deal with. Looking at their picture and knowing everyday that passes that we're missing that time with them....once again, the Lord knows!

We appreciate your prayers! This has been a growing process for us, but an exciting one as well!

We really had a great time in New York visiting Jacob's family. His Aunt and Uncle were surprised about their anniversary party...it is hard to keep a secret for many months! We were also able to get together with the Carpenter family. We met them the first time soon after they accepted their referral, so it was a joy to meet their two adorable children. Penelope and Gabe are wonderful, loving parents...they are naturals! :) We talked late into the evening of traveling to Ethiopia and their personal experiences. We are so thankful for their encouragement and all the wonderful things they gave us, like their pictures from Ethiopia, gifts for our children and some great canned fruit!

Let me finish by suggesting you visit the Kidd's site. They just returned from Ethiopia and posted a beautiful video!

March 24, 2006 - Doctor visit reveals that conceiving would be highly unlikely without fertility drugs
October 14, 2006 - First adoption seminar held by a local agency. A information gathering experience.
December 2006 - Begin to consider adoption seriously, focus on South Korea.
February 19, 2007 - Local agency asks us to consider a domestic adoption opportunity. Over the next week we met the birth mother and went through some waiting periods. In the end she choose another couple.
May 26, 2007 - American World Adoption Seminar; Jacob notices Ethiopia and can’t get the country off his mind.
June 1, 2007 - Another domestic opportunity arises
June 2, 2007 - We have our home study, expedited due to urgency of adoption opportunity
June 4, 2007 - After a very strenuous weekend anticipating the adoption being complete very rapidly, we are told that we should not pursue opportunity any more due to several factors. Praying for direction.
June 14, 2007 - The Lord lays Ethiopia specifically on Hilary’s heart. She immediately shares with Jacob (he hadn’t told her - until now - that he felt the same!)
June 20, 2007 4:30PM - Send in application to AWAA
June 25, 2007 - First doctor appointment for home study
June 29th - Received call from AWAA saying we were accepted into Ethiopia program
July 16, 2007 - Mail in initial payment and acceptance letter
July 27, 2007 - Assigned family coordinator
August 2007 - Begin collecting dossier papers
August 15, 2007 - Send in I-600A form
August 31, Sept 1 - First Hilary's Hope Show, raise just over $600
September 7, 2007 - Receive fingerprinting appointments!
September 11, 2007 - Home study completed
September 21, 2007 - Fingerprinting completed
October 25, 2007 - Received I-171H (I-600A)
November 2-3, 2007 - Second Hilary’s Hope show, raise just over $700
November 15, 2007 - Dossier certification is complete
November 16, 2007 5:52 PM - Dossier is sent off!
December 7, 2007 2:30 PM - Dossier is sent to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia
December 11, 2007 - Dossier arrives in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia!!