So, if you don’t make it through, we understand. And if you’re on a slow connection, all apologies. But here it is. The past year in a nutshell. And, at the beginning and end, some back-story, making it 3+ years in 18+ minutes. Not bad.

UPDATE: A few subtitles added to explain a few photos. Canaan now spelled properly.

Sunday afternoon we were able to experience a traditional Ethiopian coffee ceremony right in our local mall! We have a local coffee stand outside of the Belk store that really cares about good, quality coffee. The owner likes to educate people about coffee besides making the best coffee in the area. Not too many months ago he hired an Ethiopian woman, named Tigest, to work in his shop and that brought on this simple ceremony.

Tigest sat on a little stool with a small gas burner outside the perfume section of Belk. We gave them a run for their money as she even roasted some beans!  If you have never experienced what the smell of roasting coffee is like, you won’t be able to imagine what I am referring too! She also burned some incence which I guess is traditional as well.

The ceremony goes something like this: First they wash the coffee beans and then roast them in a roasting pan on a small open fire. The pan is shaken back and forth so the beans don’t burn and then they start to pop. This sounds like popcorn popping. Tigest then took the beans around the group so we could smell them. The coffee then is ground, for the sake of time, Tigest used the shop’s grinder. The traditional pot they use to boil the coffee with is a called a “jebena”. They serve the coffee in little cups called “cini”.

At this ceremony we had three rounds. The first round is called “abol” (first), the second is called “huletegna” (second), and the third is called “bereka”(ironically, does not mean third but something like “good-luck”). Tigest also served us popcorn which she cooked on the burner at the very start.

Tigest said that they do this process several times a day and whenever you visit someone’s home. It was a very enjoyable experience, but as I kept watching all the people skirt around us, or stop to stare for a few minutes, with their shopping bags all about them I couldn’t help but think of the irony of the setting. Here in America we have the ability to spend our extra dollars on expensive coffees at the mall as we shop and in Ethiopia there is the looming famine and the thousands of children about to perish for lack of water and food.

Growing up as a family we would take Sunday afternoon walks to the ocean where we’d pick up “treasures” that I still have today in my home in South Carolina. The night before I left for college to Florida I saw my first ever shooting stars lying on the rocks with my friends. j first told me that he loved me while we were sitting looking at the boats in the harbor (even though it took a couple years for me to feel the same towards him)! The night before our wedding several years later he gave me a pearl necklace and earrings to wear on our wedding day in the same spot. Our son, C, has spent his short time here in Maine throwing rocks in the ocean with Grandpa and Grandma. Yes, Maine holds a special place in my heart. But enough of the sappy memories that only mean much to me and those involved!

During our unplanned trip to Maine this Christmas we have been blessed to have an amazing amount of snow! We were hoping for some snow while up north and when we didn’t get enough in New York we just had to come to Maine! We have gotten over a foot since we have been here the last few days. There is nothing like watching the snow drift from the sky and sit cozy by the fireplace!

As we’ve started the new year, I can’t help but think of all the year holds. We look forward to coming home with our children from Ethiopia. Next time we’re up here, we’ll be a family of five, Lord-willing! It makes me hope that I’ll be diligent to keep some sort of journal for our children. There is much more to learn about the country of Ethiopia and much more to prepare (like getting lots of shots to travel!). I am praying we’ll meet more families who are adopting from Ethiopia and that we’ll be able to expand our mainly all-white group of friends and community.

I have been reading “I’m Chocolate, You’re Vanilla” and may post a summary of what I’ve gleaned from it in the future. I’m also looking forward to reading “There is No Me Without You”.

At times when I realize the magnitude of what we are about to do my heart jumps up into my throat and I can become overwhelmed. When I am not focusing on the fact that the Lord has clearly led us to this decision and that He’ll work out all the details I can begin to sink into the stormy waves like Peter did thousands of years ago. Father, help me to fix my eyes on Jesus!

I can get lost in my thoughts wondering how our families will react when we are all together or how people will look at us when we walk down the street in SC. Or what sort of comments we’ll get from people. I can picture our children realizing the vast difference between us in skin tone and wonder if they’ll feel alone. I pray and trust that God knows all these little details that will come up and that He’ll help us to know how to react and what to say…or not say. Isn’t it wonderful that we don’t know what the future holds in every circumstance! We’d be so worried about all those little and not so little trials we wouldn’t know what to do with ourselves! I am glad that He’ll give the strength one step at a time!

And so with that thought, we’ll step into this New Year…

Out of the blue a local adoption agency contacted us with a domestic situation and asked us to consider it. We initially had no desire whatsoever to adopt domestically. But then we began to wonder if God wanted us to. So we met the birth mother and had a great meeting with her, however, she choose another couple who was also interested. We had prayed so hard that God would direct her to make the right choice that we were not devastated by her choice. But it was emotionally draining to meet a total stranger and try to convey to her that we would be the perfect parents for her unborn child. I pray that God used us in her life that afternoon to point her eyes to Jesus.

Several weeks later we were contacted by the agency again about a second opportunity. This time we had to make a choice within hours and we would have had to pay huge sums of money immediately because she was about to have the baby very soon. After a heart-wrenching 24 hours or so my husband came to the conclusion that this was not the baby God had for us. I know he made the right choice, but the emotional hours of indecision were difficult for me.

It was a while after this opportunity that we attended a seminar for America World Adoption Agency at a local church. We had friends who were using this agency and who only spoke wonderful things about it. During the meeting we scanned the sheet of paper that listed all the countries and their qualifications. When it came down to it, Ethiopia was the best choice for our circumstances. Without even thinking about it, I told j “no way”. I had no desire to adopt a black child and so without even thinking more of it we finished the seminar and went home, basically in the same boat as when we had arrived–no clear direction.  I guess I felt that I really wanted an Asian child and I also was nervous about what our families would think if we considered a black child. Not that they were prejudiced, but we felt like our families would have a difficult time accepting this race specifically.

A week or so later j’s mother called with a social worker in NY about a baby who would be born within a week or two. So far, this baby had nobody standing in line to take him/her. We were told if we did not want the child, the baby would be given up to social services. We were given the weekend to make a choice. We talked to some friends who work at the local adoption agency and they expedited the home study. We had the home study the next day, a Saturday. I had a yard sale the majority of the day and trusted my husband to get the house in order. (Which he did!) So on Monday morning, the home study had already taken place and we were ready with our “yes”. When j spoke with the social worker she apologized but told us word had gotten out about this “unwanted” baby and since we were from out of state, we should just drop out. Needless to say, this was hard to accept. But once again, we knew God was in control.

By this time we were tired of the emotional roller coaster. We also began to realize that the baby in America is not so much an “orphan”. People usually stand in line for one. I know there are probably circumstances where this may not be true, and I am so glad God lays it on the heart of people to adopt domestically. But we really began to feel God was leading us back to the International side of things.

We decided to take a break and REALLY seek clear direction. So we tried not to pursue adoption and just see what God would do. Everywhere I turned though adoption was thrown at me, whether it was a bill board or a random conversation or the radio. Finally one morning our local Christian radio station had a special on adoption and I just knew we couldn’t run from it anymore. But we were clueless as to where…

I got in the mail a letter from America World and they had enclosed a part of a sermon by John Piper about adoption. He was specifically talking about our adoption in Christ and how He chose us in our sins to be a part of His family. How could we accept or reject someone based on their race or looks, etc. if Jesus Christ had looked at me in my sins and utter disparity and chose to love me? In the article he also spoke of the Lydia Fund. Not knowing what this was, I looked it up on the internet. They had a newsletter and the lead article was about a family who adopted from Ethiopia. I broke down into tears and felt so burdened. As I fell to my knees I told the Lord if He wanted us to go to Ethiopia, we would go.

When j got home I sat him down and explained what I felt the Lord was directing. To my surprise he told me that he felt the same way! Ever since the seminar when we looked at the paper he couldn’t get the country of Ethiopia off his mind. He had chosen not to say anything to me about it though. We were so elated! Finally we felt like God had given us a clear answer to prayer!

We too, can relate to the blank stares given and the lack of enthusiasm shown when we tell our happy news of our new addition to our family. We know the happiness of bringing a beautiful child into this world and experienced first hand the joy that it brings friends and family. However, now that there is no “belly” to see growing larger every month, we can identify with those who have been met with a less than joyful response over the hope of bringing home a new child from somewhere else. I am sure that in the past I may have been one that gave a blank stare at someone else; if for no other reason than just plain not understanding all the emotions and pain and WORK that goes into an adoption.

As I was reflecting on our friends and the support we have been getting from our sisters and brothers in Christ, one dear friend came to the surface who understood our pain and stood up behind us in support. Today for the first time I realized that she revived Hope in us at a time when we were floundering on the sea of uncertainty. We had gone through some domestic adoption opportunities that we did not even seek out. The Lord had dropped them in our lap and since we did not have a clear goal, we tried to walk through the doors that we felt God was opening. We learned much and drew close to the Lord through each roller coaster experience. Still now we don’t know why God had us go through those times, but we are content in knowing it was for His glory and our ultimate good.

Somewhere during this time, a friend gave me a belated Christmas gift. She had knitted me a pair of slippers. To my surprise when I opened them, out fell a little pair of matching baby booties. A heartfelt letter was included and as my husband and I read it together we weeped knowing the love that had looked past all the disappointments, and on to the Hope of the future.

A couple months later, the Lord laid Ethiopia specifically on our hearts and now I look at those little booties and know that there is a child out there who will wear them, soon! It is wonderful to have a glimmer shine through all those blank stares and unenthusiastic responses. Our God knows when we need it most!